How to speak with an elderly parent about their driving

It’s a difficult but necessary conversation when it comes to speak with your elderly parent about no longer driving.

Here are some tips for talking to your elderly parent about restricting, or eliminating, their driving.

Talk early

It is easier to stay calm when speaking about a hypothetical situation. While your parent is still driving well, talk to them about what signs you will both look for as time goes by and how you will address the issue. You can even come up with specific phrases you will use when the time comes.

Set limitations

In some cases, your parent may need to stop driving completely as soon as possible. However, decline in driving ability is usually gradual. Your parent may struggle with driving in heavy traffic or after dark but do fine during a midday trip to the grocery store. When reasonable, limit your parent’s driving rather than insisting that they stop completely.

Present alternatives

If your elderly parent lives outside of a metropolitan area with safe and reliable public transportation, driving can seem essential. Have a list of alternatives ready to show your parent so they won’t feel like you’re making them a prisoner. Get the number of a taxi service, ask your local senior center about shuttle service or even find profiles of drivers for hire.

Use concrete examples

The more abstract your argument is, the easier it is to dismiss. At the same time, if your examples are too personal, you are likely to make your parent feel defensive or spoken down to. You may be able to start a conversation by gently noting any of the following:

• A recent increase in tickets or car accidents, even if small
• A decline in vision or hearing
• A decrease in reaction time
• Taking an abundance of medications that can cause drowsiness
• Any health concerns that can be problematic when driving, such as strokes or seizures

Keep in mind that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you on this journey with your elderly parent. Reach out to local organizations to get the assistance you need.